“I like spending heaps of money on a suit I hardly wear” said no one ever.
Men, for too long we’ve been unwittingly investing in a suit industry built on our own apathy. Screw that. It's winning time.
Many of us have been routinely sacrificing ourselves at the altar of overpriced rented suits. Suits that have seen more weddings than a Crowded House covers band and look like a Pollock painting under UV light.
The rest of us have talked ourselves into extravagant suit purchases based on impulsive and questionable math. We project ourselves in 2045 attending our 200th wedding, sipping a cold one basking in the glory of achieving a CPW (Cost Per Wedding) ratio of under $5. Five minutes after walking out of the store, swanky suit bag in hand, we’re kicking ourselves for not factoring in DCE (Dry Cleaning Expenses) of nearly $40 per wear.
Well screw that. It’s winning time. Welcome to The Syndicate fellas.
The Syndicate is $135 suits that make you look like a thousand bucks, or more depending on the light in the room.
Suits that won’t break the bank, costing only as much as say, two rounds of drinks at the pub. Hey wait! Where are you going?? Ok bad analogy. Hey at $135, just get both.
At such low prices, you can afford to wear The Syndicate suits anytime, anywhere, doing anything. Swim in them if you want. They’re probably cheaper than speedos and almost as sexy.
Also, newsflash, our suits made in the same factories as all those other ones you see on posters featuring men with beards on motorcycles. Our textile technology is just as good and our quality assurance guarantees an equally great product and fit.
$135? How you ask? Because we don’t blow money on South American photo shoots, a fleet of Minis with hilarious personalised plates, or a Ponsonby office with a wacky slide and a ping pong table. No sir. We’re tighter than a camel’s arse in a sand storm, so that you can look the ducks nuts for not much more than an Ernest Rutherford.
Time to exercise that massive brain of yours and join The Syndicate. Then sit back and wait for the postie to deliver your knighthood “for services in bringing about the downfall of overpriced suits”. #winning.